My Road or God’s

HOPE Points Way

by Emily Bodkin

During my past three years of HOPE, I have counted myself lucky to be able to see so much happiness, so much life, and so much love for God grow in so many other people. I can’t even begin to think what my life would be like now if I had not had the HOPE Conference every year for the past seven years. However, there was something different in this Conference for me. I finally realized that changes in my life are going to have to be made, that I have to prepare for what God wants me to do.

Messages on HOPE bulletin board convey love and encouragement.

This year, our theme was “Send me.” Our speaker gave us some powerful talks on how to truly be the Lord’s servant. It made me think, “Am I going down my road, or God’s?” The Conference renewed my faith and helped me to take some time to really think about what’s important in my life. One thing I realized was important is this Conference. I thought this year would be my last Conference because of potential summer jobs next year. However, I know now that HOPE is a priority in my life, where I can be reminded of the people who believe in me and the God who loves me. Another important aspect of my life is church. I went through some hard times with the church I grew up in, and I stopped going altogether, especially when I got to college. However, this past year, I found a church near my school that I started to attend. It’s the first time that I finally started going to a church for me, not because my family took me to Sunday School or because somebody asked me to join them. Now I go because I want to.

St. Francis of Assisi once said, “Preach the Gospel at all times; if necessary, use words.” Michael W. Smith, my favorite contemporary Christian artist, worked off this quote for a song of his in which he says, “For the world to know the truth, there can be no greater proof than to live the life. Be a light for all to see for every act of love will set you free.” In my small group at the Conference, we talked a lot about how we want to start to change so that we can live more for God and show other people that we love Him. It’s a hard ladder to climb, so I’m trying to start with little things. Two goals I have set for myself are to stop swearing and to stop taking the Lord’s name in vain. Another thing I’ve started to do is to actually do things for my parents when they ask me to instead of letting out a huge sigh because I want to watch TV. I stop and think about everything they do for me, so why can’t I load the dishwasher? These might just be little things right now, but I can’t wait to see how they add up, and how God will start me on a path to be His servant. Now is a time where I truly want to start to “Live the Life.”

Of course, nothing is greater than the power of prayer. I still have trouble praying in groups, so I pray through my music, whether it just be singing a song or writing a new one. God has blessed me with the gift to write music. It is through this gift that he is sending me. Every day, I never forget to thank him for this gift that I am eternally grateful for. Today, I find myself waiting for what the Lord has in store for me next, and I think I know what it is. He is sending me back to school. He’s sending me back to be a light that other people can see and hopefully start to wonder about. He wants me to use the gifts He has given me so my friends can start to know Him too. All I can do now is pray and hope that I’m ready to go. And thanks to HOPE, I’m pretty sure I am ready, for school and whatever else he holds in store for my life.

Here I am, Lord. Send me.

Emily J. Bodkin is from East Freetown, Massachusetts.

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